November 30, 2008

More Diaries of a Hospital Janitor:

Animal Sex Revenge – This old homeless guy finds a dog wondering the streets so he makes a pet out of it. He decides he wants to screw the dog. Well the dog didn’t like it so it bit the stupid bastard on nose.

November 29, 2008

Diaries of a Hospital Janitor Continued:

A girl came into the ER. She had an infected nipple. Apparently her boyfriend was into rough sex and bit it too hard. It got infected. The surgeon couldn’t save it so they cut it off. OUCH!

November 28, 2008

Diaries of a Hospital Janitor Continued:

Back in the ER, a girl apparently swallowed one of her boyfriends cock rings during fellatio.
I don't know what else to add to that statement.

November 26, 2008

My Chronicles Continued:

These weekend campers are the best type of idiots.
A bunch of middle aged frustrated office guys went camping and got drunk and started smashing empty beer cans on their foreheads. Well one of the 16 ounce cans wasn't empty and the guy split his head open. They were all too drunk to realize what was going on till the one idiot said, 'Hey I am bleeding.' So drunk as they were they decided to drive the guy to the emergency room. On the way they hit a deer and smashed the SUV. As a result the ambulances (plural) pulled into the ER – one had a broken leg; one had a heart attack, apparently that was from the passenger air bag - he thought some hunter was shooting at them; the driver had a bloody nose, that was from his air bag; and the original injured guy still had is split open head from the beer can. They were so drunk they didn't need pain killers, but they needed something when their wives arrived to find out stupid was taken to a new level and the tickets they all got from the police.

November 25, 2008

Chronicle Diaries Continued:

This happened fairly recently, just before I retired. A man working in construction and on pain meds for a previous injury, was using a nail gun, and someone asked him a question and without re-focusing on what he was doing nailed his had to a drywall stud.
Damn, I mean ouch.

November 24, 2008

Chronicle diaries continued:

So this ambulance pulls up, and about a minute later all hell breaks lose. This guy jumps off the gurney and goes on a kick-ass rampage. He is about 5'-8” and 140 lbs. The ambulance was followed by a police car. Now two med techs and two police officers are in a brawl with one guy. A male nurse and a security guard join in, followed by a doctor with a hypo. He is throwing people around like a rag doll. Finally they get him partially pinned down and the doctor sticks him. It doesn't put him out but he is manageable. They get him inside and later find that he had a 4 inch switchblade on him. If he had pulled that out the police would have had to shoot him. I got stuck cleaning up the mess, including the blood outside, none of which was the problem guy.

November 23, 2008

My chronicle diaries continued:

One late night two ambulances pulled up to the ER. One had a woman in convulsions, the other a man with an apparent heart attack.
The woman was having an epileptic fit, and the man ended up having a panic attack. They were involved. When the doctor questioned the male patient, he discovered a middle age man who explained he was getting a blowjob from the young lady who was brought in with him. It appears that within seconds the woman had gone into a convulsion just after he ejaculated into her mouth. Thinking that the woman was choking on his semen he started panicking and thus put himself into a panic attack. Once the ambulance med tech told him what was going on he started to calm down, but then a police officer told him how lucky he was that the girl had not started her convulsions while his penis was in her mouth, because she would have probably bitten it off.

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November 22, 2008

Another chapter from my chronicle diary:

It was late at night in the ER when the ambulance pulled up with this man screaming, 'Get it Out, Get it out of my ass now!'
Comes to find out this guy was gay, had been to a gay sex orgy and someone put a gerbil up his butt. The gerbil suffocated and died. The gerbil also crapped inside the guy's poop hole leaving gerbil dodo in his poop chute. Foreign poop can be very toxic if it enters the body. First they had to rush the guy to surgery to remove the dead gerbil, then they had him on antibiotics for six months trying to get rid of the infection.
Gay rights are Ok but being stupid isn't.

All comments are appreciated,
The Hospital Janitor.

P.S. - If you like my diaries, please follow my Blog.
All comments are appreciated,
The Hospital Janitor.

P.S. - If you like my diaries, please follow my Blog.

November 21, 2008

Here's another chapter from my chronicle diary:

I mostly worked the night-shift at the hospital, it's quiet and no one is around when I am doing my tasks.
One night after visiting hours I heard this male voice saying, “confess your sins, tell me all, cleanse your soul.'
I also heard a woman's voice crying out, 'Oh yes Father, I have been bad, make me well, forgive me for I have sinned.' It sounded more like sex to me than anything else, so I slowly pushed the door open to see the Hospital Chaplain, a Catholic Priest, fingering this woman's vagina.
All I can say is it gives a whole new meaning to confessional.
It is obvious that they forgot, some hospital staff, such as a janitor are still wondering the hallways, even late at night.

your comments please,
The Hospital Janitor.

November 20, 2008

Here is my first chronicle from my Diary

Stuck In The Butt – I was working in the emergency room night shift at the hospital when I heard the doctor and some nurses telling a patient they would need anal surgery. Apparently, at a party this girl got drunk and bet some people $100 she could get a wine bottle, bottom end first, up her butt hole. She did but when she remove it her anus starting bleeding. The results were she needed surgery and it would take months for it to heal. She was told, 'The cost will probably be around $10,000.'
Stupid people never seem to stop amazing me.

your comments please,
The Hospital Janitor.